scribbling and signing

in response to Odette's 'Doodles, autographs and signatures'...

More than once, during my adolescence, i became almost obsessed with acquiring a completely new handwriting and signature. I finally settled for a compromise between my ideal handwriting and the often awkward, yet practical jotting method that my digits decided for me.

Some years later, i once again felt the need to re-invent (ah "re" again) my scribbling. This time i sought an alternative style altogether. Now, my writing is a kind of hybrid. And sometimes it surprises me to the point where i almost don't recognize it as my own. I am right-handed, and yet, i frequently find entire pages of my sketch diary scrawled out with a distinct lean to the left, like i became left-handed that day. I have some ambidextrous abilities, but I never ever write with my left hand. So I suppose my right hand dreams of being a left... ?

Hybrid words fluctuate in size, in longness, in fatness. It morphs from cursive to print and back, from page to page, sentence to sentence, even letter to letter within words. Leaning to the right, then the left, then straight up and down, it is dancing on the paper. Its not about being able to read what I wrote, but to remember the moment it was written and why.

Yesterday, I put my signature on the green scratched plastic screen at the hardware store checkout. It did not look like mine. It was its own furious messy thing. This keeps happening. It looks a little different every time. I am beginning to worry that i will get into some sort of legal trouble. "We're sorry, but your signature does not match the one we have on file..."